Maintaining Peace of Mind & Routine with a Newborn Sibling

I remember when we were in the third trimester with our second baby, I began to panic at the thought of how I would keep our very busy toddler occupied while taking care of a newborn and wondered if I would have alone time ever again! I felt like I was maxed out with just Isla, and I couldn’t wrap my head around adding another baby to the mix. Fast forward a handful of years, I found myself navigating life with four girls - all born two years apart.

Fortunately, by this point, I had some tips and tricks up my sleeve on how I could maintain my sanity and routine with a new baby, while also having her three big sisters at home.

I find that one of the most difficult parts of juggling a newborn and their older siblings for me is the mom guilt I feel for ‘neglecting’ my big kids while spending time with the baby. Some of the things I have done to help reduce these unhealthy thoughts are:

1. Let your toddlers/big kids help in ways they can - bringing you diapers, wipes, etc. Give them plenty of compliments on how great of a job they are doing. I love when my girls will read (even if they can’t really read!) their favorite book to their new sibling. Such a sweet bonding opportunity!

2. Say yes when loved ones ask if they can help - let your big kids have quality time with the grandma, aunt, friend, etc., whether that means taking a trip to get ice cream or coloring in the kitchen. Both the kids AND your loved ones will love the attention!

3. Find creative activities for the older kids to entertain themselves while you are busy taking care of the baby - we LOVE playdough sensory kits. I would typically feed our babies in the living room, next to our kitchen table, and the big girls would spend hours quietly playing with these sensory kits. We also love jigsaw puzzles of all levels, stickers and water coloring books.

4. Create a ‘when baby snacks, big kids snack’ tradition - we have a low drawer in our pantry that was filled with safe, delicious snacks that they could only eat when their baby sister was nursing. They would get so excited about feeds!

5. Give yourself grace with screen time - our family has a relatively strict screen time policy, but in those early days/weeks of having a newborn at home, I give myself grace with the time spent watching their favorite shows. If it was doable, I would watch the shows with them on the couch so we were still spending family time. My girls have been obsessed with Bluey for a few years now, and I always love when we can all sit together to watch it - it makes me laugh out loud every time!

6. Baby-wearing has absolutely been a game-changer for us! I have used a baby wrap with our last three babies, and not only does it allow for the baby to have the benefits of some skin-to-skin contact, but it also gives you use of both hands to make the bed, make a kid’s lunch, or make yourself your fourth cup of coffee. Baby-wearing has helped me get more done, and it helps that baby can sleep on the go! With a newborn, it can be difficult to maintain a routine. The three most helpful things we have found to help with this are:

• Accept offers of help from friends or family to help do carpool or after-school activity drop offs! People are always wanting to help, and we have a tendency to want to say, “No, I’m okay!” but I encourage you to say a whole lot of “Yes, pleases".
• Decline unnecessary activities! I try to slow our lives down as much as possible when we have a newborn at home. It is difficult to do in our hustle-and-bustle society, but time flies by if you let it. So we try to say no to birthday parties, social invitations, etc. in those early months!
• Find ways to let your baby get good sleep ‘on the go.’ As keeping some semblance of your old routine is normally necessary, having a baby who sleeps well in a car seat or carrier is very helpful!